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Almost 18 months.

Dear Hailey Rose,

You are full of so much life and personality these days, and I just can’t get enough. The older you get, the more zest for life you seem to have. Your exuberance brings so much joy to our family.

As you near the 18 month mark, I can’t help but reflect on just how much you’ve changed. As the months fly by, I see you not only becoming your own person, but with each day I also seem to see more of myself in you.

Hailey Rose, you mischievously grin when you know you’re pushing boundaries and testing my limits. You never cease to stop trying to go after what you want. As trying as this can be, your persistence that you get from me is a trait that will carry you a long way someday.

You don’t take no for an answer. Even though your favorite word seems to be “No!” these days, you get upset when Momma and Daddy tell you no because you want to go your own course and are determined to go after it. You get that determination from me.

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You insisted on sitting like a big girl today.

Hailey Rose, I am in love with your tiny curls starting to grow in your short, thick hair. I can tell already you are going to be a blonde girl with lots of wavy hair like your momma.

You babble endlessly. You are speaking so much more these days, and I can’t believe how much you know, from images in books like animals and food to body parts and more. You love to repeat things we say, which is absolutely adorable. Phrases like “uh-oh” and “ta-da” and words like “color” and “please” and “thank you” are just too cute for words. My favorite is your little “grrr” noise you make for just about every animal. You love to chatter, and I am pretty certain you get that from your momma. 🙂

You look up to your big sister. You just love spending time with “Nana” and miss her and are looking for her as soon as she leaves the room. It reminds me of my own childhood and playing with your Auntie Katie. You want to do everything Hannah does (and of course play with all of the same toys). As trying as the moments can be at times, it melts my heart to see the love you have for each other.

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Coloring at the big table just like Hannah.

You love to read. This is my favorite thing to do with you these days. You love to sit with me on the couch with a giant stack of books. Sometimes I will read to you, and sometimes you will name the pictures and sometimes you will point and want me to tell you what I see. I have loved to read for as long as I can remember, and I hope you continue to love reading just like your momma and big sister.

You don’t have the greatest moves, but you sure love to dance. Your signature move is spinning in a circle with your hands straight out at your sides like an airplane. It is hilariously adorable. I’m pretty sure my dance moves aren’t nearly as entertaining to watch.

You love to do just about anything. You always seem to be up for whatever your big sister does, and you want to be a part of what she is doing. You seem to have no fear when it comes to playing and trying new things. You get your sense of adventure from your momma, but I wouldn’t quite call myself fearless, either.

Though it may seem like you are my mini, Hailey Rose, you’ve definitely got your daddy’s playfulness. Roughhousing is near the top of your list of favorite things to do, and your daddy offers plenty of it. Seeing the two of you play and laugh together just fills my heart with so much joy.

I am so filled with love for you my sweet girl; what a whirlwind this past (nearly) 18 months has been. I look forward to the summer, spending lots of time outside and making lots of fun memories together as a family. It’s going to be a blast with you, my little firecracker. 🙂

With love,

Momma

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Attitude is everything.

Dear baby girls,

There really is never a dull moment in our house.

Sometimes, when life hands you lemons you just have to make something resembling lemonade. And sometimes, you just need to have a good cry first.

I never imagined I would be in this position again. Booted up. Parting the sea of toys so I can use my crutches in the living room. Riding a scooter around my office. Depending on other people to help me out. Watching your daddy do everything around the house and feeling helpless and guilty for his exhaustion.

And we’re only a few days in.

For two weeks I’ve been instructed to not walk. And I am in this boot for at least four weeks.

How did this happen, you ask?

Well let me tell you. I don’t do anything small. A simple trip and fall on the stairs led to a pinky toe/metatarsal fracture that has left me pretty helpless.

This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve had three (yes, three) surgeries on my right foot. Two of them were three years ago, when Hannah was about the age Hailey is now.

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Mommy and Hannah, May 2015

Thankfully, this one doesn’t require surgery. And is on my left foot, so I can at least drive. I’m just wishing it didn’t happen and am frustrated at the situation. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from your daddy, it’s that dwelling in things, feeling guilty, doesn’t change what’s happened. We just need to roll with what life has handed us. Deal with the challenges, face them head on. Learn and grow. Have your moment if you need to and press on.

So on we press. I had my good cry the night it happened. Because I just knew that it was bad. But dwelling in it and feeling guilty about it doesn’t change the situation.

Attitude is everything.

So we make something resembling lemonade.

It means not being afraid to laugh at myself as I ride a scooter around my office. It’s a great conversation starter, let me tell you. It’s made for some entertaining emails and shared meals in the lunchroom.

It means movie nights in Mommy and Daddy’s room where we snuggle up with each other in bed.

It means extra snuggles and extra patience for everyone.

It means an extra helping (or five) of grace for Daddy as he does projects during naptime and hustles for everyone when we are awake.

It means not being afraid to ask for help when I need it. But it also means being mindful and realizing what isn’t really necessary. (Do I really need to drink that third cup of coffee?)

It means pausing and resting. Taking stock of what matters. Enjoying the time with my loves. Even if it is spent mostly laying down with my boot on a pillow. It’s amazing the things I’ve learned can entertain while lying down. We’ve done lots of snuggling and book reading. A visit to the library or bookstore is in our future when I can walk again!

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Hannah sitting next to Momma with a stack of books this morning and reading me books. Melt my heart.

This time is challenging for all of us as we are learning to adapt. But we’ll get through it. It is my hope that you girls see our attitudes and faith as your guide. So that when you face challenges someday, you may be resilient, strong and filled with gratitude in the face of adversity.

Attitude is everything.

I am so very thankful for your daddy and all he does for us. His love language is acts of service, and he sure is doing a lot of that right now. Once I’m back on my feet again, I look forward to planning something special we can do for him as a thank you.

I am looking forward for things to be “normal” again soon. It’s been a long winter and there will be so much to explore this spring and summer.

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March 24 snowfall. Where did spring go?

I am excited for trips to the zoo, park and farmer’s market and setting up the pool in the backyard.

And of course Easter is next weekend! Hannah has picked out her outfit already:

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Hannah was so excited to pick out her outfit for Easter next weekend, down to the yellow barrette with Easter chicks on it. 🙂

As we navigate the crazy of these next couple weeks, in addition to the crazy that is our lives, we know that we’ll get through it together. It’s just all a part of life’s never-ending adventures. Never a dull moment! You girls keep us on our toes, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

With love,

Momma

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Stop growing so fast.

Dear baby girls,

Well, it’s official. I am no longer a parent of a baby, but of two little girls.

I’m not sure when it happened, but it feels like I blinked and now I have a toddler and a preschooler.

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It’s a bittersweet transition as we’ve packed away bottles and baby clothes, but it is also exciting as we see the two of you become best friends. You love to play together, albeit for short periods of time. The bickering over toys and the joys of toddlerhood keep things interesting to say the least. But the moments where the two of you dote on each other, give each other hugs and kisses and play so well together make the hard moments worth it.

At 15 months old, Hailey is into everything. Literally. Discovering all the things you should — and shouldn’t. We keep you from scaling furniture and grabbing everything out of accessible cupboards and drawers. When you’re not keeping busy playing, you love being a big helper. In the morning you will help get yourself dressed (if you’re not running around the room half-naked 🙂 ) and you will grab your shoes, coat, hat and gloves when it’s time to go. This morning you were so confused when we tried to tell you we didn’t need your hat and gloves!

Reading books has become one of Hailey’s favorite activities. You love to grab the books and thumb through them quickly, resting in your “reading seat” or grabbing one and itching to climb up on Mommy or Daddy’s lap to read. It melts my heart to snuggle up with you and read. You’ve learned so much and can point out many objects, from blocks to cars to shoes to your belly and nose. Your favorite words to say these days are “Hi,” “Nana” (Hannah), and “NO!” We couldn’t be more proud. 🙂

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Hailey Rose, your zest for life and joyful attitude fill our hearts with such love.

At 4 years old, Hannah has such a big heart. Your love for your family and friends shines through, and you say the sweetest things these days. From telling me I’m the best mommy in the whole world to saying you want to be a nice mommy just like me someday, you are melting my heart on an almost daily basis. Tonight at bedtime, I hurt my hand. You asked me if I was OK, said you were sorry I got hurt and then wanted to kiss and rub it to make it better. Your kindness and empathy just make me so proud to be your momma.

We do have our moments, however. This age can also be trying as you are becoming more and more independent. Not quite being completely self-sufficient makes certain activities more time consuming than they need to be and more frustrating for you (and let’s be honest, for me a little bit, too). But I love seeing you become your own person. One of your favorite things to do these days is pick out your own clothes, and each day your outfit seems to include a skirt and something pink, your favorite color.

You also love to play games, read and have movie nights with Mommy and Daddy. You crave to learn so much, from spelling words to asking questions about anything and everything. The questions are never-ending, but I love your thirst for knowledge.

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Hannah Kate, you bring such a sweet, kind-hearted and loving presence into our lives, and we couldn’t be more proud of you.

Being momma to both of you girls just fills my heart to the brim each day. You’re growing up so fast, and I am soaking up every minute of it. I wish for time to slow down, and yet at the same time, I look forward to what’s to come.

With love,

Momma

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1 year in: Happy birthday!

Dear Hailey Rose,

One year ago, I went to bed as a momma to one little girl. I eagerly anticipated the next day, knowing I was going to meet you and hold you in my arms in just a few short hours.

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Just two days old!

I had no idea how things would go that day, but I felt a sense of peace going into it. I knew that you would be perfect. And sure enough, one year ago, your heart melted mine. I saw you and fell in love. I knew just how special you are and how much joy you would bring our family.

It has been a long, short year in many ways. It doesn’t feel like that long ago that I learned that I was pregnant. When I felt your kicks for the first time, which quickly turned into jabs. Little did I know just how much you love to move!

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4 months old

Since day one, you’ve been active, full of energy and so much life. Joyful is the perfect word to describe you. I just love your smile, and you radiate the joy that is in your heart. You squeal with delight as you play with your big sister and belly laugh as Daddy tosses you in the air and tickles you.

You have always been eager to move, whether rolling over, learning to crawl, sitting up, scooting, cruising around furniture and now finally walking. It’s hard to believe you were a tiny baby who slept most of the day.

It feels like not long ago when I was on maternity leave, sharing snuggles with you all day long while binge-watching Gilmore Girls, Friday Night Lights and Parks and Rec on Netflix. I soaked up those days (and also enjoyed the good nights of sleep while they lasted).

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9 months old

I didn’t expect some of the sleep deprivation challenges we faced, and I didn’t expect the chaos that is balancing working mom life with being mom to two girls. But you know what else? I didn’t expect to fall so deeply in love. With you. With how you love each of us. With our new dynamic as a family.

Though we have had our challenges, it has really made me grateful for our family. I love our time together and the love we have for one another. We’ve created some great memories this past year, and I look forward to so many more.

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1 year old

This quote from C.S. Lewis is so true: “Isn’t it funny how day by day, nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?”

Everything is different. Life is crazy. And it is beautiful. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

With love,

Momma

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6 months in.

Dear baby girl,

And just like that, it has been six months since you came into this world and made me a mom of two beautiful girls.

the girls

It has been long, and yet it has flown by. A year ago at this time, I was a few months pregnant, and I didn’t even know yet that you were a little girl forming in my belly.

And now, your 3-year-old sister is asking me if there’s another baby in my belly because I still haven’t lost my post-baby gut. 🙂 I digress.

My favorite part of being a mom of two girls is seeing the two of you together. Your big sister, Hannah, just loves playing with you. Whether trying to make you laugh, read you stories or just plain being silly and playful, she adores being with you. And you eat it up. You give her the biggest gummy grins and belly laughs. It just melts my heart to see the two of you love one another.

A lot has changed in the first six months of your life, and it’s so much fun to see your personality shine as you become your own person. Here are a few updates on life lately:

You’re a great eater. We’ve been nursing since day one, but just past your 6 month birthday we introduced solid food. You’ve always nursed like a champ, so I knew you would enjoy solid foods. Sure enough, the first time I fed you oatmeal you were ready to do it all by yourself! Since then we’ve also tried pears and apples, which you’ve gobbled up. I don’t imagine you’ll be too picky of an eater. 🙂

You’re not such a great sleeper. I knew it was too good to be true when you started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old, but I certainly enjoyed it while it lasted (until you were about 16 weeks old. The four month sleep regression is very real.) It has gotten better from the four-times-a-night wake-up sessions, but I am still up typically once in the middle of the night and again around 4:30 am. During the week this usually means I start my day reeeallly early. It’s hard. And exhausting. But I am enjoying the snuggles and the time just the two of us while I can.

You love bath time. Oh my how you love the water. You are not quite sitting up by yourself yet (you last about 5-10 seconds before starting to tip over), but you love to lean forward and drink the water as it comes out of the sink faucet. Or stick your hand up to it and make a big mess. 🙂

You’re working on getting teeth. It looks like your two front teeth could break through any day now, which has made you a little more fussy lately. To distract you and cheer you up, I’ve been bringing you outside. You love to go on walks and look at everything around you. And you just tried sitting in the grass today and enjoyed pulling it out by the fistful.

You are trying so hard to crawl. You have such a fierce determination to move. You’ll do a little mini push up and pull your legs under you, but you just can’t seem to figure out how to propel yourself forward. But you have figured out how to go backwards and sideways. You almost ended up under the coffee table the other day. 🙂 You get frustrated when you can’t go the way you want to. I wish so badly I could help you! Your sister likes to show you how it’s done and will crawl and scoot on the floor by you. It’s pretty adorable.

There are so many things happening in your world right now. I’m sure your little brain is overwhelmed by it all, which is why you’ve been a little extra clingy to Momma lately. While it can be exhausting, I’m not complaining. I actually kind of love it. I love being able to be there for you. Provide for you. Love you more than anything.

The past 6 months have been some of the most exhausting, but also the most beautiful and rewarding of my life. I love you and our family so much.

With love,

Momma

 

 

 

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Welcome, Hailey Rose!

Dear baby girl,

You are here!

After 39 weeks of expectantly and eagerly waiting for your arrival, we couldn’t have asked for a more perfect little angel. Our beautiful Hailey Rose is here!

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Our beautiful Hailey Rose

We couldn’t have planned for a more seamless labor and delivery process. My doctor gave me the option to be induced a week early, so I took it. I worked right up until the day before you came, and early in the morning 18 days ago your daddy drove me to the hospital. We dropped your big sister off at daycare on our way, and she was excited that her baby sister would be joining our family later that day!

I was originally planning to deliver at the same hospital your sister was born at, but they called the day before and asked if I would be willing to deliver at a different hospital or wait to be induced until the following week. I was SO ready for your arrival that I didn’t hesitate to switch locations.

We checked in to Methodist West shortly before 7:30 am. The hospital was peaceful and quiet on the maternity floor, and it matched my emotions going into the process. I had this sense of calm within me leading up to and throughout my labor, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the staff and nurses at the hospital making sure everything went smoothly.

I was induced shortly before 8 am, and it felt like time flew before I knew I was ready to give birth. Sure enough, you were born just a few short hours later at 11:33 am.

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Mommy and Hailey

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Daddy and Hailey

Your daddy stayed with me for a few hours after delivery before going to pick up your sister from daycare. I was so excited for Hannah to meet you for the first time.

When Daddy and Hannah arrived you were getting your vitals checked, and your big sister loved seeing and being a part of the process.

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Hannah holds Hailey’s hand while she gets her vitals checked 

Words cannot describe the feelings I had when we had our whole family together. Seeing your big sister covering you affectionately with kisses. Watching your daddy help Hannah hold you. Seeing him fall naturally into his new role as a father of two precious girls.

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Daddy and the girls

My time in the hospital went by quickly, and before I knew it I was getting ready to go home with my two girls.

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Mommy and the girls

We came home the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and we were so thankful to have family come be with us the following week. Your grandma visited for a few days, and then Gammie, your Auntie Katie, Uncle Brad, Ethan and Brennan came up to celebrate a belated Thanksgiving. We loved having everyone visit.

After a full week and the Thanksgiving holiday, your big sister went back to “school” and your daddy stayed home with me for the second week. And now, we are on our own, just the two of us, for the rest of my maternity leave.

I’m grateful for all the things I learned the first time around. And I’m even more grateful that you are letting me get a little sleep at night. I don’t expect it to last. 🙂

I’m a lot more calm this time, and I have an amazing tribe of family and friends around me. We are so blessed to have them surround us with love. And we are beyond blessed to have our second daughter, we are so in love with you. Welcome to the world, Hailey Rose.

With love,

Momma

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38 weeks.

Dear baby girl,

You’re moving like crazy right now, and as I sit here envisioning what you look like and praying for a healthy baby girl, I can’t help but feel a little sad that very soon I will no longer be pregnant.

There’s something special that happens when you’re pregnant, feeling tiny life forming inside of you, watching your belly slowly grow bigger and bigger from week to week.

I no longer view my body the same way that I used to. It isn’t just mine anymore. It is a vessel. A home for you. I provide your nourishment. Your sustenance. I am all that you know right now, and only from the inside.

Very soon you will know me from the outside. My voice will be more clear, and you will begin to see and know me as your mother. Even though I will be sad to no longer be carrying you on the inside, I am so excited to hold you in my arms for the first time.

I look forward to the moment when we will finally meet; I will stare at you as I memorize your eyes and your gaze, holding your tiny fingers in my hand. You have been knit in my womb, and very soon I will see who God has been forming for the past nine months. You are His. And you are mine.

Our days are numbered as a family of three. When I first got pregnant, I was anxious about all of the changes that meant for our family. I didn’t know what to expect (and I still don’t). I was (and still am a little) nervous about how stressful it will be.

But the farther I have come along, I have felt thankful. Blessed beyond measure. So fortunate for the opportunity to bring a second daughter into this world.

The closer I get to your arrival, the more my worries subside, and the more excited I become for the changes ahead. I can’t wait to see Hannah become a big sister, and I am looking forward to seeing your daddy fall in love with you just as I already have. And I couldn’t be more excited to be your mommy. To have you in our family. To become a family of four very soon.

With love,
Momma