Awake.

Dear baby girl,

I decided to watch you sleep this morning.

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After your last feeding, I have been awake in bed for two hours and finally decided to get up. A lot has been on my mind, as today is my last day before returning to work tomorrow. I have to admit, I was looking forward to getting some extra sleep this morning before your next feeding and was getting frustrated that sleep was eluding me.

I sit here listening to your coos and sighs as I type, and I watch you lie so peacefully in your crib, and I would have missed out on this magical moment had I stayed in bed. I watch you stretch your legs, roll side to side and slowly fall back to sleep.

It’s funny how much you think about sleep as a new parent. How much you are (or aren’t) getting and how much your baby is (or isn’t) sleeping. A lot of parents complain about their lack of sleep. I see it through my Facebook feed daily. Other parents ask how much sleep you and I are getting, wondering if you are letting me sleep.

I’ll admit, I love my sleep. Before you were born, I would love to sleep in late on the weekends. I would hate it when I couldn’t sleep in or my sleep was interrupted. Transitioning to parenthood has been interesting to say the least. I am convinced that coffee had to have been invented by a mom.

But as I sit here this morning, slowly watching you wake up, I am thankful for this moment. I am thankful that I get to experience the beauty of watching you sleep. And I don’t want to sleep through the moments I’ll treasure the most. I don’t want to wish for more sleep for the sake of missing out on time with you. I don’t want to wish away time so I can spend it sleeping.

As I watch the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out, my breath slowly exhales. This is what being a mom is about. Treasuring moments. Treasuring you. Because time is going to go by way too fast. And I want to be awake for it.

You’re starting to stir now; I suppose it’s time for me to get you up. I can’t wait to start the day with you.

With love,
Momma

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