Moments.

Dear baby girl,

Being a momma is both the hardest and most wonderful thing I have experienced in my life. No parenting book or blog could have prepared me for this – words cannot describe the emotions and moments you experience as a momma.

Moments like when I see pure delight on your face, lighting up the room with your smile and laugh.

Moments like when I hold you and comfort you, wondering if you understand just how much my heart aches for you as you cry. Sometimes I cry along with you.

Moments like when I nurse you, your tiny presence finding peace in my arms. In the stillness of the moment, it feels like we are the only two people in the world.

Moments like when I watch your determination as you try a new milestone, your little grunts and sighs as you will yourself to do it.

Moments like when I see you reach that milestone, like rolling over, smiling, talking, laughing. My heart is filled to the brim with so much pride and joy as you discover yourself and the world around you.

It’s hard to put into words to describe what happens when you become a parent. It’s like you see the world through a new lens, with a focus on the moments of the present. Just like a photographer captures a still photo, I capture still moments with you in my heart each day, taking them in and etching them in my memory.

When you were first born, my heart instantly grew and was filled with a love for you that I never dreamed possible. That love continues to grow and change each day, as I watch you discover and explore the world and become a strong little girl.

Nothing prepared me for all the emotions I experience as a parent. There is no manual for this, and I’ll be honest and tell you that you kind of make things up as you go. You wonder if you’re making the right decisions, and you’ll avoid making them. From experiencing fear to guilt to self doubt, the decision-making process as a parent is a tough one, but I am learning that there is no “wrong” decision. I have to trust my instincts and take care of you.

As my daughter, you trust me fully, and it is up to me and your daddy to make sure you are cared for, making decisions that may not always be easy. Together we are taking in these moments with you, from the joy-filled moments that make our hearts leap to the teary moments that make our hearts ache. All of these moments are worth it as we experience them with you.

There are many more moments and a lot more decisions to make, and I know it won’t get any easier. I have a feeling that this fear and doubt will always be there, and I will always worry about you being protected, healthy and safe. I am thankful that I have your daddy to share this journey of parenthood with, and that we get to experience all of this together. We make a good team, and I hope you know just how much we love you and are looking out for you with every decision we make.

Through every moment, through every milestone, through everything, I want you to know just how much we love you.

With love,

Momma

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One thought on “Moments.

  1. Pingback: Transitions. | Dear Baby

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