Dear baby girl,

It’s a gorgeous spring day today, and I sit here watching you sleep, looking forward to you waking up so we can go for a walk this afternoon.

I may catch a nap later, as this momma is pretty tired. It’s been a rough few days as we have started transitioning you out of the swaddle. I can’t believe my little girl is rolling over from back to belly already! You’ll be five months old next weekend, and it hardly seems time has gone that quickly.

You started rolling over from belly to back first – you did that for the first time right when you turned three months old. You took a couple weeks off before you started doing it again. Then, just a couple weeks after hitting the four month mark you finally made it from back to belly after weeks of trying. I couldn’t be more proud of you!

It’s a mix of emotions as you discover yourself and reach new milestones. There is so much excitement and joy as you finally accomplish what you’ve set out to do, while at the same time knowing we need to break you of the swaddle for your safety. Needless to say, it’s been a rough few nights. We are swaddling you with one arm out so that if you do roll you can hold yourself up. The hard part is that you startle yourself with your hand and want to suck on it, getting upset and keeping yourself awake.

Daddy and I have been taking turns taking care of you and calming you to sleep. It’s been a hard process, but I know we’ll make it through. Seeing your joy, watching you succeed, your life lighting up the world, makes it all worth it. I’m pretty sure God made you the cutest baby in the world so that the sleep deprivation seems to matter so much less.

I’ll admit, there’s a part of me that wants to complain and be frustrated. I may have my moments, but I have to remind myself that parenting is not about me. Being a momma requires sacrifice, a dying of the self, each and every day. Putting your needs first. Recognizing that even in my weakness I am still a good parent, my love for you giving you the encouragement and strength you need each day.

It’s a lot like God’s love for us, but His is even greater than my love for you. He knows what’s best for us and was willing to sacrifice it all for our safety and protection. And in my heart, I know what’s best for you, and all I want is for you to feel safe in this world and for you to trust me as your momma.

Parenthood is a continual learning process: about myself, your daddy and you. And then there’s the baby gear market – so much to learn and research. I’ve discovered some things to possibly try though this swaddle transitioning process. For now, we’re using the Halo swaddle sleep sack with one of your arms out, and your Auntie Katie is sending us a Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit to try. Then there’s the Zipadee Zip and the convertible Woombie. Seriously, where do people come up with the names of this stuff?

We’ll find the right thing and figure it out, making this swaddle transition work for us and for you. We may be a little sleep deprived, but we’ve got a pretty beautiful, strong and wonderful baby girl to show for it.

With love,