1

Attitude is everything.

Dear baby girls,

There really is never a dull moment in our house.

Sometimes, when life hands you lemons you just have to make something resembling lemonade. And sometimes, you just need to have a good cry first.

I never imagined I would be in this position again. Booted up. Parting the sea of toys so I can use my crutches in the living room. Riding a scooter around my office. Depending on other people to help me out. Watching your daddy do everything around the house and feeling helpless and guilty for his exhaustion.

And we’re only a few days in.

For two weeks I’ve been instructed to not walk. And I am in this boot for at least four weeks.

How did this happen, you ask?

Well let me tell you. I don’t do anything small. A simple trip and fall on the stairs led to a pinky toe/metatarsal fracture that has left me pretty helpless.

This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve had three (yes, three) surgeries on my right foot. Two of them were three years ago, when Hannah was about the age Hailey is now.

Mommy and Hannah 17 months

Mommy and Hannah, May 2015

Thankfully, this one doesn’t require surgery. And is on my left foot, so I can at least drive. I’m just wishing it didn’t happen and am frustrated at the situation. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from your daddy, it’s that dwelling in things, feeling guilty, doesn’t change what’s happened. We just need to roll with what life has handed us. Deal with the challenges, face them head on. Learn and grow. Have your moment if you need to and press on.

So on we press. I had my good cry the night it happened. Because I just knew that it was bad. But dwelling in it and feeling guilty about it doesn’t change the situation.

Attitude is everything.

So we make something resembling lemonade.

It means not being afraid to laugh at myself as I ride a scooter around my office. It’s a great conversation starter, let me tell you. It’s made for some entertaining emails and shared meals in the lunchroom.

It means movie nights in Mommy and Daddy’s room where we snuggle up with each other in bed.

It means extra snuggles and extra patience for everyone.

It means an extra helping (or five) of grace for Daddy as he does projects during naptime and hustles for everyone when we are awake.

It means not being afraid to ask for help when I need it. But it also means being mindful and realizing what isn’t really necessary. (Do I really need to drink that third cup of coffee?)

It means pausing and resting. Taking stock of what matters. Enjoying the time with my loves. Even if it is spent mostly laying down with my boot on a pillow. It’s amazing the things I’ve learned can entertain while lying down. We’ve done lots of snuggling and book reading. A visit to the library or bookstore is in our future when I can walk again!

IMG_20180325_142431_092

Hannah sitting next to Momma with a stack of books this morning and reading me books. Melt my heart.

This time is challenging for all of us as we are learning to adapt. But we’ll get through it. It is my hope that you girls see our attitudes and faith as your guide. So that when you face challenges someday, you may be resilient, strong and filled with gratitude in the face of adversity.

Attitude is everything.

I am so very thankful for your daddy and all he does for us. His love language is acts of service, and he sure is doing a lot of that right now. Once I’m back on my feet again, I look forward to planning something special we can do for him as a thank you.

I am looking forward for things to be “normal” again soon. It’s been a long winter and there will be so much to explore this spring and summer.

snow

March 24 snowfall. Where did spring go?

I am excited for trips to the zoo, park and farmer’s market and setting up the pool in the backyard.

And of course Easter is next weekend! Hannah has picked out her outfit already:

Easter outfit

Hannah was so excited to pick out her outfit for Easter next weekend, down to the yellow barrette with Easter chicks on it. ūüôā

As we navigate the crazy of these next couple weeks, in addition to the crazy that is our lives, we know that we’ll get through it together. It’s just all a part of life’s never-ending adventures. Never a dull moment! You girls keep us on our toes, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

With love,

Momma

Advertisements
0

Mom life: Lessons learned

Dear baby girl,

It only took me nine months to get here, but I am becoming a confident momma.

I’m sure I’ll still have plenty of doubts for years to come, but I am finally to the point where I feel like I know a bit about what I’m doing, and even if I don’t, I’m realizing that’s okay, too.

I’ve learned that it’s okay if you occasionally miss a nap or stay up way past your bedtime. It’s not ideal, but it’s not the end of the world, either. Sometimes when you miss a nap it’s because we’re already out and about or traveling and you’re out of your routine. If you fight a nap, sometimes I take advantage of extra time together with a trip out shopping or to the park. I discovered that you’ll sleep eventually. And when you do, it’s really darn cute.

IMG_20140819_195017

I’ve also learned that it’s okay to trust my instincts. Dare I say it’s okay to do what I want. I may not do everything that is recommended by the experts, but that’s okay, too. That doesn’t mean I’m not looking out for your safety and health first and foremost.

I’ve learned to embrace each moment as your momma, even when it’s tough. You’re still waking up at night to nurse, which is only once before you are up for the day. Even though I like my sleep, I know that someday I will look back on this time and miss our middle of the night snuggle sessions when all is quiet and it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. I know that each age and stage of your life will come with its share of challenges,¬†but they will also come with incredible gifts and memories to last a lifetime.

I’ve learned it’s okay to nurse you to sleep. I don’t do it all the time, but most nights I still do. Is it not a great habit? Sure. Will it be hard to break you of it? Probably. But do I love the time we have together, and do I know that you enjoy¬†it, too? Absolutely. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

On the flip side, I have learned that it’s okay to let you cry it out. I don’t nurse you before naps, and you gave up the pacifier at 4 months old, so naps are a time where we have to let you cry. Sometimes it’s only for a minute or two, other times it takes a while. Sometimes you don’t cry and talk to yourself before dozing off. (Which is seriously cute.) Does it still hurt me to hear you cry? With every fiber of my being. But do I know that you are okay, healthy, safe and secure? Yes. I know that you are tired and just don’t want to sleep. You don’t want to miss out on the fun of discovering the world around you, practicing your skills and meeting new milestones.

I have learned that motherhood is both the hardest job and the greatest gift. Being a momma is the hardest job I have ever had. It demands 24/7 attention and requires me to make stressful decisions. I have my moments where it plagues me with guilt that I might be doing something wrong or that I am not doing the best job that I could. It’s easy to get caught up in what we feel like we need or ought to be. I wonder if I am doing enough, being present enough, loving enough.

But then I realize I am more than enough in your eyes. I have learned¬†that there is no “perfect mom” camp to be in. Sometimes it feels that way, but I have to remind myself there is reason there’s the saying that “Momma knows best.” Being able to love and provide for you is the most wonderful, rewarding experience, and it fills my heart with so much joy.

The biggest thing I have learned, that I will always hold close to my heart, is that being a mother requires sacrifice and selflessness. It is in this giving of myself for you that I have received the greatest gift of all: your love for me.

With love,
Momma

0

Priorities.

Dear baby girl,

As I sat at the kitchen table on my computer last night, I glanced out the back window and saw pink and orange flames lighting up the crystal blue sky.

I was so struck¬†by the beauty that I stopped what I was doing and stepped outside. To get a better view beyond the trees in our backyard, I walked out in front of the house. The hues¬†streaked¬†across our¬†quiet street, beyond the rooftops¬†and trees. I continued to walk in the still silence of the late evening, feeling as though I were walking in a spotlight, yet with no audience watching. There wasn’t a person or creature in sight¬†as I slowly strolled down the sidewalk, hoping to catch more of a glimpse of the magnificent sunset. I didn’t even get a picture, as I left my phone and everything at home, completely caught up in the moment.

This beautiful, peaceful moment was just what I needed. In the midst of the chaos that is life, sometimes we need these moments. Moments where we can clearly see¬†beauty when all we want to do is¬†focus on the ugly. There are times when I feel like God orchestrates special moments like last night to remind me of His presence in my life, even when I don’t always feel it or see it. Sometimes we need these little reminders from God that He created the universe – and us – and He loves us more than we could ever imagine.

I need these reminders because it’s pretty easy to lose focus. Distractions call, seemingly demanding my attention from the present. Instead of letting my heart be content, I choose worry. Instead of embracing where I am at, I compare my life¬†to those around me. I let others’ priorities make mine feel inferior, wondering how I can make time to do or be more.

Last night the Creator reminded me that I am not inferior. None of us is inferior.

Throughout life, our priorities change. Circumstances change us. Life changes us – if we let it. We can face challenges and choose to be angry, bitter and remain the same person, blaming the world and being a victim. Or, we can choose to learn from hardships. They may feel like they define us, but really, it is the character that is shaped in us that defines us.

Priorities change. Seasons change. Our hearts, our passions and our priorities are what define us. It’s easy to get caught up in what we feel like we need or ought to be. I sometimes need the reminder that just because I am not the super-involved or Pinterest-cooking and crafting mom, doesn’t mean that I am not enough.

I look at you, and I know in your eyes, I am enough. In God, I am enough. And you, baby girl, you will always be enough.

You, family and God are my priorities. Why should I expect my priorities to match anyone else’s?¬†We all have our own lives, our own stories.

I tell you all of this so that you might hold on to these reminders and truths someday. I hope to share a lot more with you here along the way.

With love,

Momma