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Perfect love.

Dear baby girl,

This week, I experienced one of my favorite moments with you yet.

I was getting you ready for bed a couple nights ago (Monday, April 11 to be exact) when you looked at me, gave me a hug and said, “I love you” as you squeezed me tight.

My heart melted on the spot.

You’ve said I love you to me before, but from what I can tell you were mostly just repeating it or saying it because I’ve asked you to say it. I figured you kind of had an idea of what it meant since I show you affection through kisses and hugs as I say I love you. But for you to willingly offer those words to me out of the blue, in a way that made me know that you meant to speak them intentionally to me, made my heart soar.

I am so thankful for and blessed by our mother-daughter relationship. The way you look at me and love me with such reckless abandon. The way I love you unconditionally. This is the relationship that God longs for me to have with Him. And for you to have with Him, too.

God doesn’t want us to love Him because He asks us to. He wants us to love Him because it is our response to His love for us. Just like your¬†love for me is a result of me pouring out myself and showing you my love.

I pray that I would continue to see and experience God in new ways as I grow as a mom. And I pray that you would know and experience this same love of God someday. We’ve started saying prayers together every night, and you love to sing the Jesus song.

Baby girl, I pray that you may experience the kindness and goodness of our loving Father. I pray that you will find your identity in Him and not in anything in this world.

I love you so much, and I am so thankful for your love for me. Thank you for showing me just how beautiful and perfect love can be.

With love,

Momma

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A momma’s love

Dear baby girl,

The snow has fallen, we’ve got sub-zero windchills and I’ve been baking up a storm. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Even though you’re obviously too young to know and understand the holidays, I am very much enjoying celebrating the season with you here. From baking cookies to shopping for your gifts to listening to Christmas music with you, I am having so much fun getting into the holiday spirit. You have made this season that much more special.

At our church Christmas party a couple weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about being a new momma. She is married but doesn’t have kids yet, and she told me that she loved just how “obsessed” I am with you. As a proud momma, I do post a lot of pictures of you in addition to sharing this blog. To some it may come across as a bit much, but to me it feels natural to show you off to the world. I want nothing more than to share your beauty for others to see and know just how perfect you are.

There’s something inside me that changed the moment I became your momma. With each day you grow and change, I become that much more enamored with you. My heart leaps at the sight of you, and it overflows with you in my arms. Words cannot describe the love that I feel for you. It is a kind of love that I never knew was possible. The love I have for you, which I am sure all mommas have for their children, is one that is sacrificial, unconditional, never-ending. It makes me understand and appreciate my own momma that much more.

It is with this love that I share you with the world. As we get ready to celebrate Christmas, I have that much more of a grasp of the depths of God’s love — for His son that He brought into the world and for us as His children. God so loved the world that He wanted to share Jesus with us, for Him to become God in the flesh, love personified.

Love is the reason for the season. The love God has for us, and the love we are to share with one another. Love for our families, love for our friends and neighbors. As I look forward to celebrating Christmas with family the next few days, my heart is filled to the brim. I am so thankful and blessed this holiday season. And you are the best gift of all.

With love,
Momma

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Families are like quilts.

Dear baby,

Your great-great aunt Evelyn wrote a note with your baby shower gift that has stuck with me:

“Families are like quilts: lives pieced together and bound by love.”

Right now, our lives literally are pieced together. It is the most amazing, indescribable feeling to carry and nourish you as your life forms inside of me. Feeling your little jabs, tiny hiccups and your body stretch in my growing belly are forever changing my perspective on my body. It is no longer just my body that I fuel and care for. I am now a vehicle that builds and sustains life – your life. You are a treasure that I must protect.

In about five weeks, give or take a few days, we will no longer be bound physically, but my heart to nourish, care for and protect you will grow even more as your momma. I can only fathom just how much this will continue to develop and change over the years as I watch you grow and become your own person.

For the first several years of your life, you will be dependent upon me for your survival. It is in these years that I will cherish the closeness that we share, with your snuggles and kisses you will need from momma. Then you will start to explore the world, realizing the freedom you have. These years I will want to protect you from getting hurt, but I will also want you to learn, discover yourself and become a strong person.

Before I know it, this freedom will lead you on your own adventures, and you will be writing your own story. You will no longer be dependent on me, but because our lives are pieced and bound together, you will still return to me. These years will likely break my heart because my baby no longer needs me, but they will also enrich my heart because I will be proud of the person you have become. As the years go by, we will forever be bound together by our love, no matter the changes or distance.

I know I am getting way ahead of myself here. I say all this not to fast forward through time or wish I could stop it forever; I write this to you because I need to. With every moment of being your momma, my heart will hold on to knowing that we will forever be bound by our love. No matter the circumstance, our bond cannot be broken.

Because families are like quilts: lives pieced together and bound by love.

With love,
Momma

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Love. As Momma sees it.

Dear baby,

You’re not even here yet, and I already wish I could save you from the pain of the world that we live in. I wish I could protect you from being disappointed, feeling pain or rejection or letting others hurt you.

What breaks my heart even more is knowing that I may do all of these things as your mom. I am not perfect. No one is. This is on my mind and heart today as I read blogs from other moms about their experiences and as I see parents and people around me interacting with each other.

It is a fact that someday we may act in anger and say things we don’t mean. But it is also true that I will love you more than anything else in this world. As people come in and out of my life and I transition from one phase to the next, one thing remains the same: I love my family. We are there for each other no matter what. At the end of the day, differences aside, we support, love and admire one another and would do anything to take care of each other.

Please keep this in mind someday. Yes, people will disappoint you, hurt you and even flake out on you. The people you are the closest to will hurt you the most, but they are also the ones that will lift you up and love you the most. Cling to family and the friends that are like family. Don’t be afraid to trust and love. Life is about embracing these relationships in spite of it all.¬†After all, we are called to love as God first loved us. It is through love that you will find the reward. That you will be richly blessed by those around you. Open yourself up to give and receive love and you will find the beauty of life, the richness of relationship, the blessing of family.

With love,
Momma